Annabelle Jean's Entrance Into the World

(pictures to follow once we get home)

Annabelle's birthday started out Thursday, August 25th. She was 9 days overdue, so we were scheduled for a non-stress test and ultrasound to monitor her fluid levels. It was a rough afternoon for us. Our wonderful doula came with us to our appointment, which I am so thankful for. When the tech was doing our sonogram, she told me the number was 7.1, which I knew was bad. They want to see the number at least 8. I managed to hold it together until we got out of that room, but completely lost it in the hallway, knowing that we would be having the induction discussion with the midwife. We took some time to go out and talk about what our plan of attack would be, and we made the decision to negotiate to ask for a few extra days of monitoring and fluid pushing before an induction. Our NST came back with a couple of minor decels in the baby's heart rate, which is typical for low fluid because her cord was probably being a little compressed. A soon as the midwife walked in, I could tell by the look on her face that we were in for the big talk. Her student midwife, unfortunately, delivered the news in a way that wasn't quite warm and fuzzy. She said that their recommendation is for induction, and I said "I am not going to do that." they said they would have to talk to the doctor on call, and I just started crying and left the room because I needed to not be overwhelmed for a minute. When I went back in, I asked our doula and the student midwife to leave so we could talk with a few less people in the room. Through our discussion, we did speak with the doctor on call, Dr. Faye, who was just fabulous. She and Vanessa didn't seem super duper worried about the fluid just yet, so they agreed to let me come back the next day (Friday) for another set of tests after drinking lots of water to see if her fluid had improved. In the meantime, Vanessa would go ahead and strip my membranes to see if that would help get things moving.

About an hour after my appointment, around 5, I started having contractions that weren't bad, and were pretty far apart. I decided to use my breast pump to do some nipple stimulation and see if we couldn't get things going. Man, did that do the trick! After that, my contractions got to be 4-5 minutes apart, and quickly went down to 2-3 minutes apart. At 9:00 we called my family to tell them to start driving into town. By 10:00 I could no longer really talk through contractions, and really had to concentrate. They were still about 2-3 minutes apart. Trish, our doula, came over at 10:30, and we decided to go to the hospital because I knew I didn't want to be in the car for the worst part of labor.

When we got to Carle, I was slightly disappointed to hear that I was only 3 cm dilated, but 90% effaced, which is a big part of the battle for first time moms. I was soooo thrilled with the nursing staff, who didnt question my birth wishes one iota. No heplock, no monitor belts, only the doppler every now and then...they were fabulous! My contractions were getting really intense, but I was doing okay relaxing and breathing/moaning through them. I got on my hands and kneees in bed, and then in the shower the same way. I couldn't stand sitting on anything, especially the toilet, and standing left me feeling more out of control. I tried the jacuzzi for about 3 seconds and promptly knew that wasn't where I wanted to be. I already had disqualified for a water birth because of the fluid level, so it wasn't a huge deal that I didn't like the tub. Back to the bed I went. Contractions stayed 2-4 minutes apart the whole time,and just got more and more intense.

Around 4:00 a.m. I was severely losing steam and control over myself. It was getting harder and harder to stay focused during contractions because they hurt sooo bad and I was so exhausted from a stressful afternoon before. (Even though I did everything I could to prepare for this birth, there is just nothing in the world that could truly prepare me for the ultimate pain, pressure, and intensity that labor is. Nothing. And for people who said that contractions are like bad period cramps, I say you are completely crazy and they don't even compare!) Anyway, I asked to be checked at that point, and I was 5 cm. I was so discouraged because I felt like I had done a lot more work than that! I asked the midwife how long she thought I would be laboring, and she said that for a first time mom, 5-7 hours more would be likely. I "caved" at that point and said I wanted the epidural. They got a bag of fluids in me before thy called the anesthesiologist, which took about 20 minutes. About then, I really felt a ton of pressure, and had lots of bloody show. My doula suggested that I be checked once more before getting the epidural, and I agreed. In the 20 minutes the fluid took, I had gone from 5 cm to 8 cm! Praise God! Hearing that was just the boost of encouragement I needed to keep going without the epidural.

Things went very fast from that point forward. Almost immediately I felt pushy, and flipped back up from my side onto my hands and knees. I started pushing gently with some of my contractions, which was a great feeling. My water broke on one push, and things flew after that! People started rushing around getting the room ready, and I felt that first urge to push. When people have described it, they have said that no matter what, you just have to push. It is so true!! I couldn't have stopped if the fate of the world depended on it. Pushing was such a strange phase of the process because I loved it and hated it at the same time. The pain of the contractions was basically gone when I pushed, but the pain of pushing was an entirely new experience. I was so thankful to have our doula, our friend Tia, and Jason there. I needed a lot of counter pressure on my back during each push, and I am pretty sure I broke poor Tia's hand when I squeezed it so hard each time.

Pushing Annabelle out was probably the most incredible thing I have experienced. It is utterly amazing how much power my body has. It hurt like nothing I could ever, ever imagine, but my body knew exactly what to do. I wanted to fight it because of how badly it hurt, but I couldn't. I had to completely give in and let my body take over, even though everything in my conscious being was screaming "NO!" (speaking of screaming...did you wake up around 5 a.m. Thinking ther was a dying animal outside? Don't worry, it was just me. You heard me from Carle L&D. I was yelling louder than I ever thought I would, or could!).

I pushed through about 5 contractions, I think. From start to finish, it took me 21 minutes to push her out. She was born at 5:21 a.m. While I am sooo glad I didn't have to push longer than that, I did pay for how fast I got her out, with 2nd and 3rd degree tears. I will spare you the details of location. Since I was on my hands and knees, I couldn't catch her myself like I wanted to, so Jason decided he would! It was amazing. The midwife delivered her head, then Jason caught the rest of her and passed her under my belly to me. It was so amazing, and such a huge relief! Everyone in the room was surprised that she was a girl, except Tia, who was voting girl from the first place. I got onto my back, Jason cut the cord, and then it was time to start the repairs. After labor, that suddenly didn't seem like such a big deal, and wasn't too bad. Dr. Faye came in to assist with repairs, and they got done very quickly, thankfully. In the meantime, Jason went to announce the news to our family, and got a lot of surprised faces from them, too. Everyone was expecting a boy!

All in all, it was the best and worst experience of my life, and I am so glad that I didn't end up going through with the epidural. I know I would have always wondered, "what if?" I am so so so so thankful for the fabulous team of people that were with me. I could not have made it through if I didn't have them coaching me and encouraging me each step of the way.

Mommy and baby are doing well. We are staying in the hospital an extra day due to some jaundice, but nothing serious.

Annabelle Jean Rackow, born August 26th at 5:21 a.m. Weighing 7 lbs. 3.5 oz., 20 in. long.