challenging weekend

This weekend was a challenge for me, on many levels, so I'm going to reflect about it for a bit.

Saturday morning I got up earlyish, and packed up Mojo. We drove off to Cisco to check out the kennel that we have booked for him to stay in over Christmas. It was a much longer drive than I had anticipated. It's a nice kennel; heated floors, indoor/outdoor runs for each dog, outdoor yards separate for each dog, they get to go outside a lot and are well cared for. I had a really hard time, though, thinking about leaving him alone in a big room full of other dogs. He's still a baby, really, at only 7.5 months old. I've gotten so attached to him, and I probably worry about him way more than I should; as he's "only a dog" as I've been told. But, he's a part of our family, and I love him to pieces! It was really hard for me to think about leaving him for a few days with a stranger. I actually got a little emotional about it in the car, which is silly, but whatever.

Then we went to Allerton, because it was right down the road. We went on a physically challenging 2.8 mile hike. Not like Allerton is really hilly, or has crazy trees to climb over. But, it has a river. A river that often overflows it's banks, and leaves trails either like ponds, or like mud holes. We encountered both. So, more than once I had to grab onto a tree to keep from falling into the mud or a small pond/large puddle, and more than once I had to regain my composure and keep from crying out in frustration. I was determined to keep going, though, and keep going we did. We finally made it back to dryish ground, and I felt an odd sense of satisfaction having schlepped my way through it. Granted I was covered in mud, with wet feet and ankles, and Mojo was a WRECK (which, in turn, made my car a wreck), but it was fun, in the end, to challenge myself to keep going when I just wanted a Hummer to come rescue me.

After Allerton, we went to Mahomet to meet up with another boxer-mom. She has two boxers, one that's 9 (a male) and one that's 6 (a female). I was very nervous as I walked up to the gate, because the dogs were growling and barking at us quite a bit. It was very challenging for me not to turn around and walk away with Mojo, because I was scared. We went through the gate, and her two dogs started to sniff at Mojo, who was obviously nervous. He cowered down, shaking, and looked at me the whole time. Then all of a sudden, the older male flipped out and started to attack Mojo. Growling, barking, spit flying, Mojo crying...it was terrifying. I cried out, and grabbed Mojo amidst teeth and claws. He was okay, and the other mom told me to relax, that it was normal (um, I don't think so). But, I tried to relax, and let Mojo go sniff with the other dogs. Again, the other male flipped out. This happened 3 times, and each time Mojo yelped and cried, and I panicked and tried to intervene. Finally, she put the male inside. I was so unnerved that I was shaking. Mojo then played fine with the female. The whole time, I just wanted to leave. When we finally did, I saw the scratches on Mojo's chest, and it broke my heart. I can't believe I put him in harm's way more than once. It was all I could do not to be very, very upset with the other mom saying "it's normal." It's not normal for dogs to attack each other and for their owners to be okay with it.

Saturday night I was so utterly exhausted that I hit my breaking point. I lost it, and just had to go to bed. I had to try so hard to control my emotions and not just scream at the world because of how tired I was. It was challenging, as lame as that may sound.

Sunday was very hard for me. We went to Danville after church to help Jason's dad. His "birthday present" was for Jason to help him clean out his garage. I was going to make a list of cleaning supplies and go to Walmart and get them. Jason's dad struggles with some basic life skills, and we're not sure why, though we have our theories. It mad me very angry and broke my heart all at the same time to walk into his house and have to leave because I couldn't breathe for all the dust and mess. I feel so bad for him, that he's lonely, but it makes me so frustrated that he can't take care of basic things, at the same time. We spent the afternoon cleaning. Jason in the garage, me in the house. His carpeting hadn't been vaccuumed for years; he didn't even own a vaccuum. So, I bought one, and vaccuumed. The tank filled up after 1.5 rooms. I had to write out instructions; here's what you clean daily, here's what you clean weekly, and here's what you clean monthly. I was mentally exhausted when we left. Jason talked to his dad on the phone that night, and his dad proudly said, "I've been cleaning since you left!" I almost cried. He's like a child, in a sad sense. We have to get him started, and then he proudly follows through. We bought the cleaning supplies, made the list, showed him what to use where, and then he can do it. It's maddening, it's sad, and it's challenging. Lord, grant us grace.

Physically and emotionally exhausting weekend. I guess God wants us to grow every now and then, huh? Good thing He's always there, carrying us along.