some people...

I walked into Subway today wearing my nametag. Following is the conversation I had with the girl that works there (not kidding):

Her: You work at Christie Clinic?
Me: Yes.
Her: Are you a doctor?
Me: No.
Her: Are you a nurse?
Me: No, I work in Human Resources.

::pause::

Her: Well, I've had this cough for like a month. What do you think is wrong with me?

...pondering if she heard me telling her that I'm NOT a doctor or nurse...

Me: Well....do you smoke?
Her: Yes.
Me: That's your problem. Stop smoking. You probably won't have a cough anymore. Smoking is really bad for you. Plus, it would save you a lot of money.
Her: Oh. So I just need to stop smoking?
Me: Yes. Do you exercise?
Her: No.
Me: If you stop smoking, and start exercising, I guarantee your lungs will clear up.
Her: Okay. So I just need to stop smoking, you think?

Me: Yes. It's really bad for you. It will also save you a lot of money.

Her: Okay, I just need to stop buying cigarettes. I'll probably stop smoking then. Thanks.

Me: You're welcome. You know, I'm not a doctor, so you should probably still go see one, even though they will probably tell you what I just did.

Her: No, that's okay. I'll just stop smoking. Thanks!

I about peed my pants, but managed to keep a straight face through this conversation. Hilarious.