prayers needed.

I've been sick since Friday with a stomach thing. I say "thing" because no one has given me a definitive answer about what it is. It could be an ulcer, could be a virus. Whatever it is, it's kicking my butt and I've never felt as awful as I have the last few days.

Friday afternoon I came home sick from work with a stomach ache and a headache. I took some tums and had a glass of wine, and started to feel a little bit better. We went out to dinner with some friends, and then around 9:00pm, I got a searing pain in my stomach. It felt like horrible cramping and burning. I tried pepto bismol, maalox, tums...I was up all night because the pain just kept coming in waves making me run for the bathroom in fear of throwing up. Finally around 4:00, I did start throwing up. It was awful. Usually when a person throws up, they feel better afterwards--that just made it worse for me. At 5:45 I woke Jason up and told him I needed to go to the ER because the pain was so excruciating. I couldn't help but scream and cry because I just did not know how to deal with pain like that. I tried the relaxation stuff that I do with my clients in labor, but unlike labor, this was NOT pain with a purpose!! The car ride to the hospital was the worst, and when I got to the ER they must have believed how bad I was because they didn't even have me complete the check-in process. At that point I was just crying out for someone to help me because I felt like I couldn't handle it anymore. I don't fully remember how long we were there before I got a bed, but it was pretty quick. They got an IV in me to start fluids, and then gave me some pain medication...and then suddenly the clouds parted and the sky was blue! I felt like I had died and gone to heaven because of the relief that drug gave me. I don't remember what it was, but it was amazing. Unfortunately, it only lasted about 15 minutes, so after that they started giving me Toradol. Loved it. Each time it wore off I was back to my sobbing mess, so they kept it up. I already have low blood pressure, so they kept giving me fluids, too, to make sure it didn't drop too low. At that point, I didn't care WHAT they were doing to me because it just felt so good not to have that pain.

The doctor came in and said she thought it was my galbladder, but she wasn't sure. They ran blood tests, and they mostly came back normal. Then they did an ultrasound, which also came back normal. Lastly, they did a CT scan. This all took about 8 hours to do. Thankfully, Joanna came over and let Mojo out, then joined us at the hospital to pray for me. The radiologist thought the CT scan showed a perforated ulcer, so the doctor called the surgeon in. The surgeon looked at the scan and said he didn't think it was perforated, but did seem to think it was an ulcer. So, they gave me a "gastro cocktail" of maalox, lidocane, and somethind else, which made my whole throat, esophagus, and stomach numb. It was wonderful. Too bad they don't give out lidocane over the counter! At that point, there wasn't anything more they could do for me so they sent me home with a Rx for tylenol with codeine, maalox, and prilosec. They said I should start to feel better with that stuff within 24-48 hours.

Monday I got a doctor's appointment with my PCP, and she reviewed my hospital records and said she disagreed with the ulcer and thought it was a virus, since it attacked so quickly. She told me to keep taking the drugs I have, and if I don't get better in a week, that she'll refer me to gastroenterology for a scope to see if it's an ulcer or not. I was feeling a bit better, so I braved the grocery store for a couple of essentials. Unfortunately while I was there, I started getting sick, and barely made it home before I collapsed on the floor and called Jason to come home and help me. Thank God for him.

It's Tuesday night right now, and I still feel pretty darn crappy. I keep having these "attacks" where the pain suddenly intensifies and comes in waves to the point that I wonder if I should go back to the ER. Jason is wonderful and keeps making me chug maalox and drink water and eat bread, and that usually gets me to a point where I can then take a tylenol with codeine and finally crash in exhaustion. I thought I was doing better today, because I didn't have any "attacks," just had the steady upset-stomach-feeling. I even managed to do 2 loads of laundry (cue the cheering!). Then we tried going to small group tonight, but only drove about 2 miles when we had to turn around because I felt so sick suddenly in the car and couldn't handle it anymore. sigh. It's getting old.

Unless I wake up feeling miraculously better, I'm not going to work again tomorrow. I tried doing some work from home today, but couldn't sit up long enough to get anything done without feeling sick. Staying home tomorrow means that I have to fill out FMLA paperwork, which I'm nervous about. I don't know what all that means, but apparently it's necessary if you miss work more than 3 days in a row. I have the sick time, luckily, but I hate that I'm using it all up. I mean, I guess that's what it's FOR, but it's frustrating me.

Our church is doing a series right now about healing. Jesus heals, and so can we (through him). I've been crying out to Jesus (sometimes literally) since Friday night, and am so frustrated that I'm still sick. I mean, it's obvious that He protected me from surgery and anything worse than this is, but it's still frustrating that for some reason, I'm not getting healed. I've had so many people praying for me, and I am continuing to pray, but I just don't know what it's going to take.

Anyway, please pray for me, and that God WOULD heal me, and that this pain and nausea would go away. I'm thankful that I've been able to eat and keep food down, and I'm thankful that I've been able to do okay on the medicines I have here at home and don't have to remain in the hospital. But, I do want to get better. So, I'm asking for all the prayers I can get.

thanks. :)