Peace...

Doesn't this image look peaceful?? The image description is "quiet and peaceful pond."

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I would love to go there. I would have REALLY loved to go there last night. 

Last night in the Rackow household looked more like this:

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Annabelle went to bed relatively fine last night. No tears. It took about 45 minutes, and walking her back to her bed about 15 times because she kept coming over to me for attention. No big deal.

Then she woke up at 11:45. She went back to sleep after about 15 minutes. 

No big deal.

Just as we were starting to doze off, she woke up. Jason went in. He had her asleep a few times, but she kept waking up when he would shut the gate to her room.

Finally, she was asleep around 1:45. But, Jason forgot to put her blanket on her. So, I snuck in to do it. After I covered her up, I sat there watching her for a few minutes. She popped her head up after about 5 minutes of me sitting there (in silence. She wasn't really asleep). 

She was awake. She stayed awake. And then she stayed awake some more. and some more. She wasn't crying, she was just AWAKE. Laying in bed, staring at the ceiling. And finally, around 2:45, I left her room (not in a good mood). She immediately started crying when I left. I let her cry for about 10 minutes. She was pissed. I was pissed. Jason went in around 3 and tried again. 30 minutes later, he left her room, leaving her crying. Everyone was pissed. She screamed for about 10 minutes. I cried. Jason didn't know what to do. We were all completely exhausted. We sat there discussing whether or not we should "cave in." We were so tired. It was almost 4:00 a.m., the designated "it's okay to nurse" time for last night. 

I went in and got her. I let her lay in bed with us for awhile before I nursed her. She wouldn't look at me--I tried to make eye contact with her a few times to let her know I love her, but she just kept diverting her eyes. It was so sad :( I shouldn't have left her crying. Right around 4, I nursed her. She cuddled up to me, and finally fell asleep around 4:15. Then we fell asleep. 

Annabelle got about 9 hours of sleep last night. 

We got about 4.

We are praying tonight goes better. It has to. Right??