I'm almost done with my first week of "liquids-only" fasting. It's been harder than I thought it would be. Being hungry is manageable, because I expected it...I mean, it is fasting afterall. But, I wasn't prepared for how much I would want to crunch and chew and actually EAT things. Yesterday was the first time I felt actually desperate to EAT something. It was a strange feeling!
I went into this fast wanting to try to stick to this "perfect, ideal" schedule that I created for myself, which I just knew would make me a better wife, "dog mom," and Christian. What I have learned thus far is that God doesn't CARE if I stick to a perfect, ideal schedule! I started getting down on myself that I couldn't get up at 5am every morning to walk the dog, and spend time with God, and cook Jason breakfast before going to work. Then I realized that it does not matter in the least to God when I spend time with Him. He is not setting this schedule for me, I am. I am setting these standards for myself that aren't my true intention...they are the standards I think I should have to be a good wife, a good "dog mom," and a good Christian...but in reality, they are not real! Jason couldn't care less that I don't make him a hot breakfast every morning...he usually eats cereal at work anyway b/c he'd rather sleep than eat breakfast. Mojo doesn't care that I don't walk him in the morning...he'd also rather just sleep, in bed with Jason. And, God doesn't care that I'm not spending an hour with Him each morning, He just wants me to spend time with Him throughout the day, when I can.
So, if nothing else, I have gotten out of this fast that my standards for myself are ridiculous, and unnecessary. My standards do not make me a good wife, a good "dog mom," or a good Christian...only through God can I become any of those things!
As much as I have thoroughly enjoyed drinking juice and broth all week, I REALLY want to go back to eating food. I guess I'll have to pray about that.
(Though, I do have to admit that I am enjoying the feeling of having too-big pants and being 5 pounds lighter than I was 2 weeks ago... :) )
1 comments:
YEAH I am experiencing the same thing, with fasting and with the idealism crap. I know that getting up to work out before work is "ideal"...except it's not for me...it is for who? Some people, not me. As long as you are maintaining balance for yourself, that's what's important not what time in the day.
I am on Day 8 of The Master Cleanse, a 10 day fast where you flush the body with salt water, while living on a lemonade concoction. I have had a very interesting experience too, and have learned that just like wearing clothing, it's not about keeping warm/surviving, it's about adornment. Eating is not important to us in this way in our culture, it is more about the ritual of it, the philosophy of it, the community that comes with it that we miss when we fast. I have been hungry yes, but not starving. I miss buying, preparing, sharing, art-efying, and eating food. I don't miss being full:)
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