resolutions

The hot topic in every conversation right now seems to be new year's resolutions. What are they going to be? How many? Will they actually "stick?" I've never been good at keeping resolutions, whether they are New Year resolutions or mid-year-I'm-stuck-in-a-rut resolutions. I can't think of ONE that I've ever kept.

So yesterday while soaking in the tub (something I do practically every day in the winter--yes, I know it is a huge waste of water. I just love it.), I asked God why I can't seem to ever stick to anything I try to do. My desire is to strive to be a "Proverbs 31 Woman," but it never seems to work out. I have great intentions, with my home management binder, meal planners, cleaning schedules, exercise schedules, blahblahblah...so why is my house a mess, are we eating cereal for lunch, and the cellulite getting out of control? I have done everything in my power to turn myself into a lean-mean-Proverbs 31 machine.

ooooh yes. There it is, folks. God gently reminded me that I have done everything in my power to become the woman I want to be. Not HIS power. My time with God seems to fall by the wayside because I'm constantly trying to keep up with the daily "stuff" that seems to consume me. Yet it's that time with God that is the answer. I need to let HIM transform my heart, make me a better woman, and give me the true passion and desire to care for my home, my husband, and myself. I can't do it by making excel spreadsheets and pretty binders (though they do help).

So, I'm not making resolutions this year. Well, not really. I'm making one, I guess, and that's to seek and allow God to transform my heart and mind as much as possible to create in me the woman that HE wants me to be, with the desires that HE wants me to have. My house might be messy for awhile, and my pants may not fit, because letting God change me is going to be the number one priority this year.